Total Drama Season Ranking Whilst High #7

Over the course of this quarantine I have become a full time stoner. I have learned that shows from my childhood hit so hard while high. Ranging from The Grim Adventures of Billie and Mandy to Looney Tunes, they all bang. But my favorite thing to watch while high has to be Total Drama. Because I’m bored out of my mind I’m gonna rank the best seasons to watch high. My normal season rankings differ from what the rankings are while high. I will rank them off the cast, the host, the main plot points, and overall entertainment value. At the end I will give the stand out episodes.

Number 7: Total Drama Pahkitew Island

God I hate this cast

I’m gonna put it blunt, this season sucks. Sober or not I will never enjoy this season.

Cast:

A quick story before we jump into the cast, before I ever watched this season years and years ago, my buddy Zack told me that there was a character whose whole personality was that he was evil and another who was scared of the zombie apocalypse. I didn’t believe him. Then I watched the season and sat in disbelief realizing he wasn’t trying to gaslight me into believing one of our favorite shows turned into a husk of what it used to be. Aight story over time to talk about this wet blanket of a cast.

Most of the cast is either forgettable or annoying. I just watched this season and I already forget half the characters. Characters like: Beardo, Topher, Rodney, and wizard guy make less than no impact to the overall story and are forgettable. Amy and Samey are both annoying in their own ways. Sugar is hands down the worst antagonist the series has had. Dave is my personal most hated character from the whole series. Max is unbearably weird. Scarlett was fine until she went berserk. Ella made me want to stab a fork into my ear drums. Sky was nauseatingly boring. Shawn was aight. And lastly, Jasmine was a goddess and I wish she was on a different season.

Rating: 2/10 (Jasmine and Shawn carry)

Host:

Did Chef even exist in this season, like holy shit was he even there?! Maybe it’s cuz I was high but I don’t remember shit about Chef this season. On to Chris. He was too much of an asshole. Throughout this series of articles you’ll see that I am not the biggest fan of Chris in later seasons. He gets too mean and foul for my liking. He more than ever feels disconnected from the cast. No moments where he hangs out with the contestants. Chris’s most memorable time throughout the season was him dicking on Topher. Which I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little satisfying.

Rating: 3/10 (Even when bad I still enjoy Chris)

Main Plot Points:

There were a couple of story lines in this season. Let’s start with my favorite one, Jasmine and Shawn. It felt like an authentic relationship and one that was unique to the show. It’s probably the healthiest relationship portrayed on the show other than maybe Mike and Zoey. I liked both Jasmine and Shawn as individuals and liked them even more as a couple.

Next up we’ve got the Amy and Samey story. Kinda shite. Amy was a bitch and Samey opened up thanks the Jasmine. I didn’t care much about this storyline and was happy that neither character made it super deep into the season.

Sky and Dave. Oh where to start with these fuckers. Dave a bitch for real. Homie could never just be chill and take a hint. Sky was super focused on the competition and didn’t want to fuck around in a relationship. This storyline ended with Dave trying to get this, MURDER SKY! Pardon but wtf?! Shit storyline.

Scarlett goes off the fuckin deep end. Throughout the season they are many Easter eggs that the island is man made. This all culminates in Scarlett taking control of the island and turning into a domestic terrorist. Yeah shit was odd. I actually enjoyed Scarlett before she went insane. I related to her because she also couldn’t stand Max, but man her character got derailed so fast. She went from a smart level headed person to a comic book villain. This storyline more than any other throughout the entire series feels like a different show. This was the point where any hope the season had of redeeming itself went out the window.

I know there’s more storylines like Topher v Chris, Dave and Ella, Ella v Sugar, Scarlett and Max, etc. But to sum up all of those story lines. They sucked.

Rating: 1/10 (Jasmine and Shawn save this from being a 0)

Overall Entertainment Value:

There isn’t much entertainment but I will say this season is better high. If I was sober I wouldn’t ever think about watching this season. The overall insanity of the characters is enough to keep my attention while high but I’d rather be doing pretty much anything else.

Rating: 2/10 (Needs more Chef)

Notable episodes to watch: The credits.

Thanks for reading this article. If you want to follow me on my socials I tweet about reality shows, stupid shit, and total drama.

Twitter: @BennettGolad

Instagram & TikTok: @Bennett.Golad

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I like reality TV and cartoons

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Bennett Golad

Bennett Golad

I like reality TV and cartoons

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